Focus on the Family Community: Relationships and Marriage: In Law ...

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Jul 30, 2011 9:58 AM

My husband & I are about to take our long awaited honeymoon, after 2 years of marriage. Financially things are ok, not the greatest but then again are they ever?? We decided this would be the right time to do this. My husband is constantly worried about his fathers well being as he is elderly and not very financially fiscal these days. He seems to live a little outside his means. He doesn't understand that he no longer has the income to support more than himself and he typical gets in binds he needs help out of. We have helped him numerous times and continue to. Recently we have worked with him and he is now current on all bill payments and will for the first time in a long time start a new month on a positive note. We are very thankful for that. However, my husband feels very guilty as he feels he has caused his father to be in this position for his many mistakes throughout his life that he has paid for financially and now his father lives meagerly. My husband feels so guilty that he went as far as to lie to his father about our honeymoon. He stated we "won" the trip and we didn't have to pay for much. This is our honeymoon! We waited 2 years to take it! He asked me to lie too. I can't. I won't. If I am asked I will say nothing. Not out of disrespect but I will not lie. I guess my question is this.... Why does my husband harbor so much guilt from what has happened in his past and feel so responsible for his fathers current situation? Don't we all make our own choices in life? If his father didn't want to help him he had to choice to say no. He made the decision to help him regardless of how that affected him financially and how he lives now. Please help me understand...... This unfortunately affects a family and not just my husband as his fathers money runs out every month my husband turns to the family bank account to assist.

Source: http://www.focusonlinecommunities.com/thread/22242

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